The familiar old line about the X-Men was always that they were "fighting for a world that hates and fears" them. They were unpopular. They were dreaded. Everyone judged them when nobody knew them. No matter what they achieved, they always knew no-one would ever accept them.

Nowadays, though, the X-Men are a lunchbox. At least, I assume they're a lunchbox. They're certainly a paperweight and a letter opener, so I can't imagine why they wouldn't be a breakfast-cereal toy, a sticker album, and - hope against hope - a Bluebird lunchbox, with a flask and an embossed snakes-and-ladders board on the back. Except they probably don't make them anymore.

The point being, the X-Men have greater commercial acceptability now than they've ever had before. They're big, they're important - at least insofar as Hollywood summer blockbusters are ever important, which is to say, they might make someone some money - and they're all over the bloody place. The irony is, among the people who have known and loved them longest, the movie is already unpopular. Dreaded, even. Some might say 'hated' and 'feared'. The long-standing fans of the mutant books are judging the movie when none of them have seen it.

It's Hollywood that is to blame. We all know that little corner of Los Angeles has a reputation for debasing its source materials and churning out terrible hokum, so imagine how bad a film could be when the source material isn't even that good to begin with! Sure, there's the germ of a great idea in the X-books somewhere, but it usually gets lost in the shuffle. X-Men fans have suffered all kinds of nonsense over the years. If you take that nonsense and give it to the great and merciless rapists of Studio City, then what hope is left?

Look at the previews. Look at the wig. You know which wig I'm talking about. We've all seen the wig. The costumes have been described as MATRIX rip-offs (which makes me wonder if we've all forgotten that shades and black leather were supposed to be cool before THE MATRIX. That movie wasn't breaking any new ground style-wise, kids), and the Magneto helmet is inducing cringes across two hemispheres. Of course the fans are scared. They've seen the wig!

Forget the wig. It's not fair to judge a movie by its headgear and hairstyles. How about we look at the director, Bryan Singer, whose excellent work on THE USUAL SUSPECTS was the very making of Kevin Spacey? How about some credit for high-calibre thespians like Ian McKellan and Patrick Stewart, both with respectable Stratford pedigrees? Or how about a little faith in such talented writers as Ed 'MEN IN BLACK' Solomon and Chris 'USUAL SUSPECTS' McQuarrie, who both know an awful lot about good dialogue and good story? Why don't the fans give these guys a break? Why don't they assume that, between them, they might just come up with the goods?

Why? Because they're scared, that's why. They all saw BATMAN & ROBIN. They all know BLADE could have been a fluke. They're all pretty damn sure that Marvel will never get it right twice in a row. They're going to keep repeating that Singer isn't a real comics fan and doesn't know the material, that Stewart and McKellen have both acted in a fair amount of dross between them, and that Solomon and McQuarrie are probably just in it for the money. They're going to insist all this is true, because, quite simply, they don't want to be disappointed.

They want THE X-MEN to be great. They want it to be a success. They want everyone to love it, not just because they've known the characters for so long, but because if it's a hit, suddenly all those years of shelling out for second-rate entertainment will seem justified. To paraphrase Sally Fields; "you love us. You really love us". Yet the fans are not the ones who will be promoting the film. They would rather sneer and degrade it. They've already lowered their expectations as low as they can, because then, no matter how bad the film actually is, it can't be worse than they said it would be. A bad movie won't make being an X-Men fan any more humiliating or embarrassing, because the fans disowned the movie already.

X-Men fans. They love too much. Like battered women who will never leave their abuser, they turn a blind eye to every sin the comics commit. They put up with editorial edicts and burgeoning crossovers, they suffer the worst Scott Lobdell has to offer, and surf through every bad mayfly art craze that gets flung in their way. "Bob Harras doesn't mean to hurt me," the fans say. "He just gets worried about money. Everyone is always making demands on him all day, and it just gets too much for him, so he takes it out on me. It's okay; I understand. Besides, if I leave him, he'll fall apart. If I leave him, Bob will have nothing left". And you know how I know this? Because I've been reading X-Men comics for as long as I've been reading comics. I am that X-Men fan.

Maybe you're not a fan yourself, in which case I should probably explain. It's not like a family. They're not like friends. That would be a terribly sad thing to admit, wouldn't it? "I love the X-Men because they're like friends to me; they're always there for me, except when they die, but then they always come back eventually, which reminds me, I should go dig up my pet rabbit, as he's been dead three months, which must mean he's due back soon, hopefully with different powers."

No, it's nothing like that. Or maybe it is, if your mittens are hung on a piece of string through the sleeves of your winter coat, and you can't be trusted to cross the street or use a sharpened pencil, in which case you might well be the actual target audience. For most fans it's not like that. For most fans, it's something much more mature.

It's an addiction. Worse than just simple habit, the mindset of the X-Men fan is locked into a simple equation. 'I like these characters', therefore 'I want to know what happens to them next'. In those circumstances, it doesn't matter how bad the current status quo is. A terrible artist? A dreadful writer? Tired, overblown storytelling? It doesn't matter, because nothing is constant, and X-Men fans remain ever-hopeful that things will improve. Scott Lobdell today? It could be Joe Kelly tomorrow. If Joe leaves, your heart sinks, but then along comes Alan Davis, and it all looks better again. You even find yourself thinking, maybe Chris Claremont coming back won't be so bad after all. Then it is. Well, maybe next issue, next story, next year it'll all be better. It's like supporting a sports team. A really bad sports team. Yeah, we did badly this year, but we're overdue a good season, we'll get one soon. I can't quit now. I can't just leave in the bad times and come back for the good. This isn't AVENGERS, you know? This is dedicated fandom. Some of us read the Ashford EXCALBURs.

Then there's the fact that, actually, the X-books were great, once upon a time. Sure, it's a time most current fans aren't old enough to remember, and those of us that do actually did wear mittens on strings back then, but it happened! Chris Claremont today may be the only man in the room who doesn't even know there is a joke, let alone that it's him, but he used to be a revolutionary talent with an ardent die-hard fanbase. Warren Ellis today? That was Chris Claremont twenty years ago. UNCANNY X-MEN didn't just drop into the top of the charts because it was 'cool' or 'hot'. Quite the contrary. At one point, it was flirting with cancellation. It took a genuinely brilliant writer and a whole raft of incredible artists to earn the book an audience and push it to number one. It got to the top because it deserved it. It's been coasting in the same slot ever since. Addicts beget addicts.

Comics fandom may be a tiny pond, but X-fans are far and away the biggest fish in it, and with so much history to point to, and some truly groundbreaking stories to laud - THE DARK PHOENIX SAGA is arguably more important and influential than even WATCHMEN or THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS - you've got to believe they're going to be a fairly passionate bunch. Lost and confused, but passionate. Bryan Singer says he knows he's dabbling in something sacred here. For his sake, that better be true, because while all the fans may say the movie is going to be terrible, they still have their fingers crossed.

But then maybe, when you get down to it, maybe it is fair to judge a movie by its hairstyles. Just look at BATTLEFIELD EARTH. And besides; have you seen that wig?

Andrew Wheeler, London, May 2000.

Andrew Wheeler is a regular contributor to PopImage. He is a mutant, but slightly webbed toes and one collapsed nostril do not a superhero make.

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